Today I said goodbye to one of my oldest and greatest friends. I am so beyond heartbroken and at a loss for words, but I will do my best to do her justice.
I have been blessed to have Thursday in my life since I was 16. Her presence in my life was always a gift and being able to love and be loved by Thursday was one of the most precious and important gifts I have received. While she wasn't outwardly the most loving, once you earned her affection it was endless.
Thursday was a steadying rock through many ups and downs in my life. Her nickname was Mamacita because she truly was s super momma mare. When she first came to the rescue, she was so underweight but she was helping alive two beautiful little colts, one of which wasn't even her baby. She never lost that mothering instinct and (although maybe not by her choice) became a mom like presence for Moon (who is a perpetual little boy), letting him come share her food and personal space during stormy weather and reminding him boundaries are indeed a thing under normal circumstances. Something she also has begun to teach our young Apple since we moved.
More than that, she was always a strong shoulder to cry on, a quiet stall to sit in, and a solid nudge when it was time to pick your chin up and carry on. I spent countless hours sitting in her stall with her while she ate. Often times resulting in her spreading her hay pile on top of me as I would go over whatever was on my mind. Like all good moms, she'd hear me out and then give me a good push to get myself back to my feet again. Thursday was incredibly emotionally intelligent and also far to smart for her own good. She could read me like a book and was there pony who truly pushed me to start getting better at training and understanding horses on a deeper level. I'm not sure I'd be at the point I'm at today if she hadn't pushed me to keep being better, especially at some of the hardest points in my life thus far.
Many times when I found myself lost, I found myself in the stall with Thursday. Now I find myself lost and with an empty stall as quiet and as horrible as the feeling in my heart.
In some ways, I feel a bit of closure. Thursday was roughly 28 and for the past 11 years, I have gotten to love and spoil her endlessly. She loved frosted mini wheats, candy canes, and all sorts of other goodies. I brushed her till she shined and then brushed her again and again because she enjoyed it. I knew all her itchy spots and how she liked to snuggle. I sat with her while she'd nap in the sun, snuggle on the hottest of days, braid and rebraid her mane endlessly, and goof around on many a lazy afternoon. Thursday was a once in a lifetime friend, her love was so strong and pure. Together we held each other yesterday and many moments I could see she was still pushing because I asked. I tried so hard, and she tried with me. Love is strong enough to fix everything, but sometimes that solution is to love enough to let go.
So this morning with all the love in the world, I said goodbye to Thursday. With whispers of all my love and a promise to take away the pain, the vets and I held her tight as we laid her down one last time and I got to braid her mane one final time.